An open letter musing about life, adulthood and the uncertainty of it all:
Dear reader,
Adulthood is a messy, glorious thing.
We go from childhood—a more structured routine juxtaposed with a freer set of responsibilities—into a wild unknown. In adulthood, there are so many twists and turns, a labyrinth of options and decisions, and that can be disorienting and frustrating.
In childhood, we are asked that familiar question, ‘What do you want to do, when you grow up?’ and you answer confidently – a doctor, a teacher, a world-famous actor. In childhood, becoming those things seems easy, but now you may answer with less certainty. Things seem harder than before.
Life can be turbulent and messy, as well as easy and seamless. Setbacks can come hand in hand with success.
One day you could take a step forward and then three steps back. Other days you take a step forward, pause, then try a risk by taking a step in a different direction. You never quite know where the road will take you.
It’s easy to look around and feel like everyone has their life together. But here’s the truth: everyone is still figuring things out. No one has all the answers. Everyone has felt lost at one point in their lives. Everyone is still learning.
Even if people seem like they have it all figured out, the reality is that every single person is trying to pave the way for their own journeys. Just like you, they are asking their own questions and wondering if they’re behind in some areas of their life.
And figuring it all out can be hard. You can be confident and still feel self-doubt. You can feel anxious but still anticipatory, meeting the future with fearful but open arms. You can crave independence and seek stability and advice all the same.
All of these things are valid. And if you talk to others, you’ll be surprised to hear that those around you experience this uncertainty and confusion too.
You are not alone.
If you feel out of sync, unsure of your next step, or find yourself taking risks and experiencing both failure and success, know that it’s normal.
It’s normal to outgrow people, to do career pivots, to feel lonely sometimes, and not know what you want to do or who you want to be. We don’t need to have all the answers, maybe we never will.
And that’s okay.
I see journeys as nonlinear, with no definitive end. There are bumps, diversions, and more before reaching any result. The fun lies in exploration and discovery.
Another truth: progress will look different for everyone. And the good thing about progress is that it can happen at any time.
You may be waiting for the perfect time to try something, but the reality is that there is no ‘perfect’ time. The point is that you try at all.
Some see age as a barrier, for example you may think that if you don’t do something by the time you’re thirty, that’s your youth wasted. But success doesn’t have an age limit: at any stage in life, one can pursue new endeavours and achieve their goals.
No one really knows what they’re doing, life is a constant learning curve.
Know that it’s perfectly okay to not have all the answers yet because no one else does either.
There is no right or wrong way, not really.
You have this one big, beautiful life, and it’s okay to not know what to do with it. Along the way, you will slowly figure things out, you will celebrate wins big and small, you will fail but you will get back up and do it all over again. A quote from Arianna Huffington that I remember is, “Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. It’s the mastery of fear. It’s about getting up one more time than we fall down.”
If you take one thing away from this letter, let it be this: wherever you are, know that you are not alone. We’ll take this life one step at a time.